Anger is one of the toughest emotions to work through. Poorly handled, it can paralyze us and cause great rifts in our connection to people. Correctly used, it can bring us much closer to the people we love. It can bring us more in touch with our higher selves.
Anger can be expressed in a variety of ways:
- Exploders and aggressive rage-aholics are one type.
- Somatizers turn anger into physical problems, such as headaches, colds, hypertension, and stomach ailments.
- Passive Aggressors are people who can’t openly express anger but find indirect ways to work their anger out at the other person’s expense.
- Self Punishers, like Somatizers, turn their anger inward, producing depression and low self esteem.
How anger was expressed by our family of origin affects how we manage our anger today.
For example, if one comes from a family of origin where rage and anger were the normal ways of communicating frustration and miscommunication, a child might grow up fearing anger; bottle up his/her anger; become a people-pleaser to avoid making people angry, be victim to codependency. Or, on the contrary, he/she might replicate the only way they know to express anger which is to explode like a volcano in rage and fire.
Couples can also get into a rut where their communication system breaks down. Although they appear together, they are in a breakdown spiral system called hostile dependency.
For anger management, counseling and therapy, please contact therapist, Dr. Gabriela Castello-Kramer.