This article has evolved from my own struggles with the chaos and despair of suffering the loss of my only beloved sister and best friend in May of 2008. The words reflect my experience of being not only a mourner but a psychotherapist. As Anne Brena describes in her book Mourning and Mitzvah, the process of mourning is a time of contraction wherein the bright light and divine energy of our world withdraw, creating a darkness with out seemingly an end.
When my sister died, I felt like all the color in my world had turned to black and white. A switch had suddenly clicked over and the world was in agony.