Life Without My Sister

It’s the end of the week. I am in fatigue mode and want to unwind from a long, tiring but fruitful week. I pick up the phone on a Sunday morning to dial my sister, which is the habitual thing she and I do each week. Every Sunday she and I share stories, adventures, family problems and gossip. Today I pinch myself. I realize my sister is no longer alive.

Our phone calls are no longer an option for me.

I have moved on in my life since her death in May 3, 2008. As I never thought I would recover from losing her, my life has taken on a new shape and configuration.Her death, as devastating as it was, opened the narrow confines of my mind to the preciousness and ethereal nature of life, I realized how much my sister gave to the people in her life. How much she appreciated animals and flowers. How gentle and sensitive she was.

I have decided to incorporate some of my sister’s qualities into my own life: to enrich and expand my life through service to others in her honor.

For the first time in my life, I have become a community activist. Single handed, I have organized a community earthquake preparedness group that met to prepare our neighborhood for the inevitable damage of possibly another quake.

I have also joined a city-wide commission that advocates for services, rights and training for the disabled in our community. I have worked on providing community support for service dogs of disabled and aged people.

Often I look at photos of my sister. I long so much to have her back in my life. Although my heart and soul call out to her, I also know that her passing has been a catalyst for my being and seeing the world through new eyes including her eyes.